Wednesday, 27 November 2019

100 DAYS OF SELF DISCOVERY

Seeing as we're nearing the end of the crazy eleventh month of November, the month of which is crazy busy because we all realise we’ve ruined our yearly resolution of starting our Christmas shopping in October, and we’re having a mini panic because what are we buying and for who?, and also the time I celebrate another lap around the sun. Did I mention it's today?

 One of my best friends bought me a nifty little book for my birthday last year, one that lets you fill in the blanks and reflect on yourself and where you’re going. This girl really gets me. And I’ll be honest, I love love love books like this but they fill me with such anxiety to fill in, partly because I hate to mess it up with less than perfect handwriting, and partly because I worry about not being witty enough in my answers, - I want it to be me, whilst also edging on eloquent, but also reading an interesting answer so I can enjoy it when I look back on it. It’s ridiculous, I love to write, yet simple things like these books make me seize up and stress. So much so it’s taken me almost a year to start this one - and it’s still only being written in in pencil. Commitment problem maybe? Well here we are folks.

Days of Self Discovery also terrified me because I feel like the least interesting person in the world, at least in terms of achievements and where I’m currently at. I hate analysing myself. But a few weeks back I bit the bullet, I’d already decided a good two months ago that I wanted to share a post on this book as a self-reflection exercise leading up to my birthday, but I hadn’t even started it yet, so it was time to put that unease aside.

Whilst I’ve only been writing this for a couple of weeks, it’s really surprised me to realise how excited I am to fill it in each day, I’m finally getting my feelings, fears, moments of pride, everything that’s bothering me about myself recorded on paper, it’s leaving my brain and making way for me to actually do something about the elements that bother me. In short, it’s doing me the world of good.

I’ve had a rocky summer - in fact that’s a massive understatement (add in link to post grad life blog post here) - but since starting work I’m feeling more positive blah blah blah (not to harp onto what that other blog post mentioned) and this has been a poignant factor in raising my spirits and giving me an urge to go and achieve more than I’ve ever achieved before. I’ll be honest, I’m not getting any younger, sure I’m almost 26 but where am I at this point in my life? Definitely not where I thought, or hoped, I’d be.

Here’s a few examples of what I’ve learned so far from this book, and what I’m continuing to learn about myself.


S xo
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